Introduction
In this part, we’re going to explore a few exercises that can help you to identify and strengthen your motivations for change. It’s all about finding your WHY because with a big enough WHY, you can overcome any HOW. We’re going to work through the exercises using the example of Sarah, a 34-year-old woman who is trying to quit smoking.
Exploring Goals and Values
The foundation of our motivation for change stems from our core values and beliefs. The first step in developing our goals starts by asking yourself what matters most to you in life. How would a new goal or behaviour change align with your beliefs and values? Would this new change make you feel fulfilled? Would this change be consistent with your identity? I’m sure that we’ve all had an experience where we’ve engaged in a behaviour that conflicted with our values or our sense of self. A behaviour like this would be very difficult to adopt and that in itself is a powerful motivator for change. Let’s take the example with Sarah. Sarah likes to consider herself a healthy person. It is an important aspect of her identity and it’s how she wants to be perceived by others. In recent years, Sarah has taken up smoking which is not consistent with her sense of self and instead creates an internal conflict that drives an opportunity for change. Can you identify any areas where your current behaviour is not aligned with your goals and values? This reflective exercise is a great starting point for developing a direction for your goals to ensure that you are committed and focused on what matters most to you.
The Importance Ruler
Next, we’ll expand upon the importance of the goals that you have identified. We can use something called an “Importance Ruler” to dig deeper into our reasons for and against change. Ask yourself, “how important is it that I make this change on a scale from 0 to 10, with 0 being not important at all and 10 being a top priority?”. A follow-up question would be to ask yourself, “why am I at that number and not at a lower one on the scale?”. This will evoke more change talk – additional reasons arguing in favour of change. If your initial number is low, say less than 5, you might want to revisit the first exercise to ensure that this goal is a priority for you. Finally, ask yourself “what would it take for me to go from the number I chose to a higher one on the scale?”. This will evoke reasons that would make this change even more important to you. Let’s go back to our example with Sarah to illustrate this. Sarah rates smoking cessation as an 8 on the Importance Ruler. She argues that she is not at a lower number on the scale, say a 6, because she knows how important quitting would be for her health, she knows smoking is holding her back in achieving her fitness goals, and she feels shame about her bad habit. For Sarah to go from an 8 to a 10 on the scale she says that receiving bad news from her doctor or seeing a loved one suffer the health consequences of smoking would raise the importance of this goal for her.
Looking Back
Next, we are going to reflect on a time in the past and compare it to the present. This exercise aims to uncover even more change talk while also highlighting past successes that might boost your confidence in implementing a new change. First, think back to a time when things were different. How did you feel then compared to now? What has changed since then? For Sarah, she might look back to 5 years ago when she did not smoke. Sarah says she had a better exercise capacity, more spending money, and a stronger sense of self compared to now. These are all arguments that she formed herself for why making this change would be better than the status quo. You must generate this change talk for yourself. It will not be effective if someone else is arguing all the reasons for you on why you should change. Additionally, this exercise can reveal previous strategies that you used to successfully enact change in the past as well as identifying past strategies that were not as effective for you. For example, Sarah was able to identify some healthier coping methods that she used to practice for dealing with stress. In the past, she would run, do yoga, or meditation to cope instead of picking up a cigarette.
Looking Forward
The last exercise is to look into the future to envision what life may look like if you made the change that you are considering. Another scenario to consider is what might your life look like if you made no change at all. This exercise will help you to direct your goal setting and will pinpoint even more of your arguments for change. Sarah may imagine herself living a long and healthy life without smoking. She is able to exercise, reduces her risk of adverse health outcomes and is confident in her ability to cope with the stresses of life. If she doesn’t quit smoking, her vision of a long, healthy life may not be realized and that in itself is a powerful motivator for change.
Conclusion
To conclude, exploring our goals and values, using the Importance Ruler, looking back and looking forward are all simple yet powerful exercises for digging deeper within ourselves to closely examine what drives us, our reasons for and against change and what may be holding us back. In the next section we will explore how to refine your WHY in order to further promote meaningful and lasting behaviour change.
Amanda Morch
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Is there a goal or change in your life that you've been wanting to make, but can't seem to get there? In this workshop, Amanda guides you through the mental component of making a positive change in your life. She will provide you with tools and workshops to effectively form new, meaningful, and lasting habits.
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